I work for a race team. A really awesome, fast, kick ass, respected race team. This is the first time I’ve worked for a team. Previously, I’ve always worked for a racing series. I’m still struggling to feel a part of the team. I’m the new kid and I’m the one that is around the least since I don’t work at the race shop and on race weekends my duties often keep me far from the cars and crew.
Since I’ve come on board, we’ve won twice, and it felt amazing. But, even though people congratulated me, I never felt like “I” won. I never turned a wrench, changed a tire or agonized over data. I was just proud of my team because “they” won.
This last weekend was different. We crashed. We crashed before the start line. I felt like “I” had crashed.
The start of the Grand Prix of Baltimore was unlike anything I had ever seen. Four cars were totaled before the start line and the race was red flagged for 75 minutes to clean up the mess. I’m sorry the fans had to see that and wait through it. We really are capable of putting on a better show.
We still had another car in the game, but a miscommunication led to a miscalculation, led to us having to make an extra pit stop and driver change while leading. It felt like “I” had screwed up.
It sounds silly to write, because seeing it in words, I know it’s not true, but I ached inside, because I felt like there was something “I” should have done better to prevent all this. But what? Better quotes? A snappier press release? More tweets? And I wanted desperately to fix it, but was helpless.
I’m generally a “look on the bright side, it’s just racing” type of person, but I couldn’t think of anything to say to the guys as we packed up. I was dejected. They had every right to be down. Argh, but I didn’t want them to be! They worked so hard!
I can’t say I ate anything fantastic during the weekend in Baltimore (besides a quick lunch stop at Noodles, which we don’t have in Georgia), but chugging some of Colin’s Proscecco, which he got from making the podium in second (we should have won!), made writing the race recap a bit easier.
I guess on the plus side, the S’More Cookie Bars were a big hit. I did succeed in putting a smile on their faces… and marshmallow on their fingers.
Next up: Circuit of the Americas in Austin, Texas.
Adventures of a Hungry Redhead 
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