It’s hard to be fired up this Friday. Not because it’s cold, not because the holidays are over, not because I want to keep sleeping in and eating cookies. Nope. It’s hard to be fired up because this is the time of the year when there is a wave of hopeful people descending upon the gym taking up my parking spaces, my lockers, my elliptical, my weights and my space in the group fitness studio. Yes, I said ‘my.’ I am an only child. I assign possession to many things that technically don’t belong to me, but are in fact mine. Mine!
Some tips, if I may, for those with a fresh gym membership card:
- Just say no to matching track suits and anything that says “PINK” on the butt.
- Keep your phone in your locker unless it is how you listen to music.
- If you can do 20 reps faster than you can do 20 jumping jacks, you need more weight.
- You need to arrive BEFORE the group fitness class starts, not at the exact start time or five minutes after. When the equipment is gone and the place is packed, you’re SOL.
- Please don’t sit or hang on a machine while you chit chat with your buddies for 30 minutes.
- If you bought your shoes at Payless, they are not appropriate for running on the treadmill.
Yes, I’m a gym bitch. My final tip is to put some Cazzette – Beam Me Up on your playlist.
Adventures of a Hungry Redhead 
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